You're in a tough spot, Rand, and I agree that the fellowship should do better. I say that thinking about the times in my life when I considered becoming involved with a UU fellowship. I'm an atheist, but at various times I've wished for the sort of community fellowship rooted in shared ethical values that the UU movement offers.

If I had walked into a service to explore that idea and if I'd hear a tasteless gay joke, I'd have ended that exploration right away, understanding (or perhaps misunderstanding) that I would not be comfortable in such an environment.

I really hope that by bringing this to the attention of fellowship leaders, you've made enough of an impression that an incident like this doesn't repeat in future.