Your example of fragrances is it perfect way to talk about how gender is constructed rather than natural. Ideas about which smells go with which gender are arbitrary and cultural. As you point out, the ideas are often reinforced by personal experience but that doesn't change the basic idea.

I like to point out the same thing about color. I think most people know that pink and blue as associated with girls and boys is an arbitrary idea. But a lot of people don't know the values are flipped pretty close to home. For example, I speak Russian and have consumed a lot of Russian media and read Russian literature and understand that Russian culture isn't very far removed from the culture of western Europe. It's more familiar to Europeans and Americans than not. (Think Chekhov, Pushkin, Tolstoy, and even Pussy Riot, lol)

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I was learning Russian and I came across one of their words for blue as a slur for gay people. Yup, in Russian and other Eastern European culture, light blue is a feminine color and is considered inappropriate for men. Pink, on the other hand? The ultra toxic-masculine Vladimir Putin likes to rock pink shirts when showing off his horsemanship, hunting skills and other traditionally masculine behavior.

All of this is as arbitrary as boxwood being a scent appropriate for men and rose a scent for women. Actually, in the Levant and into Iran and Afghanistan, rose water is a gender-neutral scent. Is not unusual for men and women both to freshen up for dinner by splashing rose water on their hands and face.

Because, you know, gender really is ultimately a performance. Non-binary people can help us understand that more clearly.