Your daughter was very fortunate. Many young men and women in her position fare much worse than she did.

I’m not writing this to guilt you or make you feel blame. I grew up in the same environment you did, so I understand the process and the culture. If I were not gay and had become a parent in the church, I might well have done the same thing you did.

I do want to point out, though, as somebody who has put a lot of time and effort studying both hard and soft conversion therapy, that it is incredibly dangerous, and actually more so for adolescents who go through the process voluntarily.

I wouldn’t normally include a link in a comment, because I don’t want to take the focus away from the writer’s own efforts. But if you’re interested, I wish you would read this story, about a young woman in a very similar position to your own daughter’s. I think it illustrates how badly even the softest conversion therapy plays out for some.

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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