You know, it's funny how the opposite situation exists for a lot of queer men. Guy says, "I'm bisexual." Almost every gay friend he has says, "Oh, you're finally coming out as gay. Congratulations!"

He replies, "No, I'm really bisexual."

"It's okay," says almost everyone. "We know you're on a journey to your true identity."

This attitude, I believe, is a result of some gay men projecting their experiences on to others, not being able to truly accept that people are different.

Then on the other side of the coin, we (gay guys) sometimes hear other queer folks tell us we can (even should!) be attracted to anyone, really, because true attraction is to the person on the inside. The physical, they say, isn't all that important. And besides, they'll add, attraction is fluid, everybody knows that.

The latter group, I think, tend to be women who really are bisexual and are projecting their own experiences onto others. Since gender doesn't matter a whole lot to their attraction, they presume pretty much everybody is attracted the same way they are. While I don't believe they have any ill intent, I wish they would understand that people are different and that actual gay men and lesbians really are gay men and lesbians, not bisexuals who just haven't opened their minds yet.

In some ways, I suppose this is natural, because I suppose that bisexuality is far more common than most people understand.

But I'm not bisexual, in that I never experience sexual attraction toward women — quite the opposite. I feel a significant amount of sexual aversion toward women. If the sight of a cute guy in a swimsuit turns me, shall we say, somewhat rigid, nothing will wilt me faster than the sight or thought of a naked woman. (This could be useful in school when I needed to get rid of an embarrassment before walking up to the chalkboard to solve a math problem.)

Both of the examples in my comment here stem from queer people not hearing one another, or at least not taking one another seriously — from presuming that their own internal life must be common to everyone.

So thanks for laying it on the line so we'll. If people can't hear this, a hearing aid might be helpful. 😉