You know, it’s funny, but I remember being if not exactly opposed to drives for same-sex marriage back around the turn of the millennium, being at the very least ambivalent.

I wanted lgbtq people to have the right to marry if they wanted it, but I was disappointed that so many of us wanted to imitate straight culture.

And yes, if assimilation wasn’t a word that would have occurred to me then, it was definitely there in my thoughts.

I’ve written elsewhere about the eventual loss or at least watering down of distinct lesbian and gay cultures, and I think that process is inevitable.

Part of what gave us our identities for so long was our need to band together for protection and strength.

I think we’re well on our way to a place where sexual orientation is unremarkable. The further we walk along that road, the more assimilated we become. The other side of the coin, of course, is that in the process of destigmatizing minority sexual orientations, society at large is changing too.

So we assimilate to a moving target. Where we end up is a matter of speculation, I suppose.

I don’t want to be one of those old grumps who bemoans the loss of the way things used to be, but loss of culture is never fun.

The flip side is that fewer and fewer of us are going to have to grow up feeling isolated, depressed, and despairing.

We’ll remember some of culture, and we’ll forget how much assimilating we’ve done.

I suppose in the end, it’s better to be “normal” than to be special.

I don’t personally care for it much, though.

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.

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