You know, I published a little story not so long ago about the time decades ago that I had a brief sexual affair with my straight friend in the military. He was not bisexual; he told me he experienced no sexual attraction toward men, and I had no trouble believing him. The fact that sexual activity took place between us certainly did not impact his sexual orientation.

I certainly had my work cut out for me trying to explain that to the dozens of people who commented telling me that my friend must be gay or bi.

Conversely, I also published a story about a summer fling I had with a bisexual man. He experiences sexual attraction strongly toward both men and women. He identifies as bisexual.

He would be bisexual even if he never had sex with a man.

In educated queer circles, I get very little pushback about this kind of thing. But when I promote stories on social media, it seems like the general public and even many LGBTQ people have a very difficult time understanding what most people mean when we talk about orientation and identity.

You’ve highlighted some important fallacies. Let’s hope we can just keep telling stories and educating.