You know, I find that comments like what you’re writing about are usually dog whistles. I don’t know who made that comment to you, so I’m not going to say that has to be the case this time.

But in general, people who object to coming out or object to queer people using their labels actually object to queer people in principle.

They want us to be quiet. They want us to fade into the background. They want us to be taken for straight and cis.

Because they disapprove of us.

What they are really saying is, be quiet and go away. Coming out is our way of telling them no, we refuse.