Yes! When people say you don’t act gay, what they are unconsciously saying is that you don’t fit in with transgressive gender norms they associate with gayness.

In a way, they’re saying you don’t conform the way they expect you to conform.

They are reinforcing the very social norms that keep us down.

The same thing happens with straight guys who act a little “effeminate.” We’ve even had to come up with vocabulary for that like metrosexual.

All of these norms are straight jackets, of course, and we should struggle to be free of them.