Yes! What to you want "to be" when you grow up is such an insidious question, isn't it?

Because the "right" answer is almost always about what a child wants to do for a living when they grow up.

There are so many other ways we COULD answer that question: I want to be happy. I want to make others happy. I want to comfort people. I want to be a great friend. I want to be a loving community leader. I want to help save the earth.

Instead, we expect children to answer with how they expect to make a living, and if they answer with some of the above, maybe we laugh and think it's cute.

But we don't think it's particularly cute when they answer with a typical working-class job do we, do we?

We probably don't put them down directly, but we let them know (even if gently) that we're surprised and disappointed with that choice. We prompt them with "better" choices as we reinforce society's dominance hierarchy.

And that's BEFORE queer issues come into play.

What I was 12, I wanted to be a lawyer too. But do you know what I secretly dreamed about sometimes, "knowing" my dream could never come true?

Falling in love with a beautiful man and raising a family with him. Being happy.

At 12, believed such happiness would be forever denied me. I never dared to express that to anyone, rarely even to myself.

I'm so glad I was wrong!

I actually got what I wanted to be when I grew up. Even though I didn't understand that "being" is not the same thing as doing a job to earn money.