Yes to all of this! I'm thinking of this absolutely gorgeous young man I never quite had a relationship with in my twenties. We found ourselves in the same Air Force unit. He was beautiful. He was artistic. He was sensitive. And he liked me.

What I mean is, he enjoyed spending time with me. We wandered around Berlin. We had meals together. We listened to music. Sometimes we would just read books sitting beside one another.

And sometimes he would get a little physical. But never too far, like he wasn't sure what he wanted. A brief kiss. Grasping my hand. Brushing his fingers across my cheek.

And then he'd see a pretty girl, and off he'd run in pursuit.

That happened a lot. And every time it did, I felt like somebody had grabbed my heart and started to crush it.

Eventually, he transfer to another base, and that was that.

Some of my friends gave me a hard time about the whole non-relationship. Like, why didn't I go out and find a gay guy who would be completely into me?

I don't know. But I know this. My memories of my friend are sweet and good. The time we spent together is something I remember and treasure.

And you know what? I did find a guy who was completely into me — in Berlin and later in New York City.

I don't look at the time I spent with my friend as time lost. Whatever our relationship was, it's part of who I am now. It's part of who I was when I found those guys who were completely into me.

I don't know if my friend was gay or bisexual. It sure felt like it sometimes, but what really mattered is that we had a heart connection.

Thanks for sharing your story and helping me remember this.