Yes, terms are very slippery. Yet note the boy was excluded by a church that calls itself inclusive. Of course, many churches that describe themselves as inclusive really and truly all. The trouble is, as in this story, not all churches use the same definition of inclusive. "Affirming" can be safer in a way, because it has a pretty definite received meaning. But then, even as Church Clarity notes, nothing takes the place of actually interviewing church leaders and asking them about specific policies.