Writing about the Trump years from an LGBTQ perspective was exhausting and traumatizing for me. Digging into the toxic consequences of hostile policy every day without the luxury of looking away took a toll I’m only beginning to appreciate.

I can look back on my writing in 2016 and find a much more cheerful, optimistic person behind the pen.

That person had grown up in a country where equality for LGBTQ people was or at least was seen as an inevitably progressive arc.

Trump destroyed that illusion as well as destroying some progress. He showed us clearly how a strong appetite exists in this country to legislate and regulate overt oppression.

He made hay with that appetite.

So, thrilling? Hardly. Depressing and even nauseating are far better descriptors for me.

The only question I have is will I ever regain a portion of the optimism I possessed in 2016.