Wow, what a sad story. I mean, I’m using the word sad, but I don’t feel quite satisfied with it. Obviously, for you, having to find out the way you did, it’s sad. Unqualified.

But him! I mean part of me wants to say it’s sad that he’s so repressed or whatever that he’s all down-low. But a bigger part of me wants to be angry at him, because he clearly believes or acts on the belief that treating people dishonestly in ways that will hurt them severely is okay.

What the hell would he have done if you’d said yes to his marriage proposal? Gone through some sort of a sham and then tried to lead two lives?

No rational person could think that would work. That leads to a conclusion that’s hard to escape, that he was treating you as a toy, as a bit of fantasy that enriched his life, disregarding the fact that you are a real human being.

Which is to say, classic chaser.

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s not fair.