While I understand you are dealing with a particular aspect of forming different kinds of friendships, when I first read your title I thought about a bit of a broader topic and formed something of an objection in my head, just from my own perspective.

Members of minorities (I’m gay) often don’t have the privilege to choose friendships with some people who are very different from them.

The luxury of choosing to be friends with different kinds of people is often a luxury indeed. A cis straight white person can pick and choose from pools of available friends and presume their advances will usually be welcome.

Members of minorities who are accustomed to being held at arm’s length by cis straight white people have to work a lot harder and take a lot more risk to make friends with people who are not like them.

If I wanted to really broaden my experiences and make friends with people who are particularly different from me, I would make friends with conservatives and Christians who generally hold me in contempt.

The odds of my making the effort to do that are small. The risk is too high and the cost is often more than I want to bear.

Just an example of how choosing to make friends with different people can be a luxury of the privileged.