When my dad was dying a slow painful death, finally passing away two summers ago, many of the points you raise here became important to us even though he did not suffer from dementia.

Even though he could do almost nothing for himself for about the year before he died, treating him as an adult with dignity was critical to me as a caretaker and for him as the person being cared for.

We had rough times delivered by the illness which often caused him pain and panic, but we also became very close, talking about what his death would mean and living our lives as much as we could for the moment.

Not everything you wrote applies to people in end-of-life situations like my dad's, but a lot of it does, and I thank you for it.