When I was young, I was very much a people pleaser. I had to struggle against that in my own coming-out and living-out process. Not easy! At all.

Now, I probably push a bit too far in the other direction, examining myself closely to make sure I'm not speaking, writing, or behaving in ways motivated by a conscious or unconscious desire to please.

This likely comes off as abrasive to some people, but I suppose that marginalized people living and speaking our authentic truths will always appear abrasive to some.

I wish I knew what to advise, but I know advice is not your goal in writing this. Thank you for sharing a deep part of yourself.