What a beautifully vulnerable story, Samia! I think you really laid out some of the particular difficulties and heartache of being a bisexual person in the US today. Patriarchy and heteronormativity are so powerful.

Being a highly polarized gay man, I never had any choice but to reject society.

If I wanted to lead any kind of a life of love and dignity, I had to be a complete rebel. I couldn't accept almost anything.

That was very difficult when I was a young man. I wish things hadn't been like that, because it was pretty traumatizing. But then it was over, and I had broken through, and I was okay.

I was forced to do the work, and I was so glad of it.

But what if, like so many queer people, my attractions weren't strictly polarized? What if I had also experienced significant sexual/romantic attraction toward women? Would I have rebelled as hard? Would I have broken through? Or would I have followed the path of least resistance?

It's hard to say, but I suspect the latter. I lost my national security career for being gay. Because I wasn't willing to deprive myself of love and companionship. That set me on a path to become a queer and AIDS activist.

But what if I had fallen in love with a woman and had a satisfying relationship with her?

It's a lot to think about. And none of what I just wrote above has anything to do with disrespecting bisexual people. It's just an acknowledgment that all of us queer people face societal resistance, and we all deal with it differently.

I'm here to tell you that I'm one of the "kittens" who's going to be paying attention to your future stories.

I'm rooting for you to be the best, happiest, most fulfilled person possible — whoever you happen to fall in love with.