Well this is interesting. I have not had sex with another person since I left Detroit in the fall of 2017. And I find myself remarkably reluctant to type that. The admission feels seriously embarrassing.

It's not like I was some stud during the years I lived in Detroit. The last few years I lived there I probably had sex once every three or four weeks. I had a couple friends with benefits, plus I occasionally dated. I had a little fling in the summer of 2017 that kind of upped my stats a little bit.

But once I moved out of town and into a very conservative rural area ( that I call the Grindr desert 😂), looking for the occasional sex partner seemed like a great deal more trouble than it was worth. I mean, there are cities with gay communities in reasonable driving distance, but not a reasonable distance for going to a club and then driving back home. I'd have to get a hotel room somewhere and maybe spend a weekend.

I've thought about doing that. I just haven't followed through. Because, if I'm being honest with myself, I don't want to enough. I don't want to go to the trouble and spend the money and wonder if I'll actually end up meeting somebody. My thoughts can be best summed up by "meh."

And that's all fine. I don't have a problem with my decision or lack of decision. If I wanted to have semi regular sex again badly enough, I would do it.

So why did I almost clap for your story and then leave without leaving a comment?

Because like everybody, I'm probably conditioned to believe that I should be trying and at least sometimes succeeding in having sex. Somewhere in my mind, I'm judging myself for my lack of sexuality.

Or maybe I'm afraid of what lack of sex says about me getting old. I mean, it's not really true that old people don't have sex but ... Maybe I don't want to be seen as an old person yet.

Anyway, yeah. Nothing wrong with not having sex. I haven't had sex in a long time, and I'm fine with that but I'm embarrassed about mentioning it.