Want me to blow your mind a little more, Ann? Sometimes gay men categorize themselves as tops or bottoms, and fairly strictly regulate how they have sex, based on those labels.

I don’t know that’s what this boy was actually saying, but it’s not all unheard of for a gay top to sort of take his pleasure and then roll over and go to sleep without doing anything for his partner in the orgasm department.

As funny as it sounds, sometimes young (or even not so young) gay men need learn about mutual pleasure and sexual reciprocation.

And as prevalent as porn is now, they aren’t likely to get info from THAT. The dramatized sex is often so staged and unrealistic that few genuine human beings could hope to match it.

Instant, long-lasting erections. No awkwardness. And very frequently, the bottom is shown having a spontaneous orgasm with little or no cooperation from his top partner.

So young gay men have a hard time getting good information. They usually lack older peers or mentors, sex ed is all but non-existent, and porn can send the wrong messages.

Because talking to young people about same-sex sexual activity has been so taboo, we have a lot of work to do educating.

Because if you were surprised by the content of this article? Guess what? Lots of gay men would be too.


James Finn is a columnist for the LA Blade, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Act Up NY, and an agented but unpublished novelist.

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