Unfortunately, the gay dad doesn't have the legal authority to make educational decisions. That's a missing piece of the puzzle here. Why did a family court judge in California grant him joint custody but award his ex-wife the sole authority to decide where their daughter goes to school? I don't know enough about these things to know if that's an ordinary outcome in family law. I did a bit of digging yesterday to try to find out, but I didn't come up with anything.