Tone policing of marginalized people is a real problem, from enemies and allies alike. Since I was a young man marching with Act Up and Queer nation, I've put up with a barrage of "Be nice!" from all sides. Act Up is now widely regarded by experts as the most effective grass roots protest/organizing movement that ever existed. But back in the day, we took heat from homophobes and LGBTQ people in pretty much equal measure.

Our allies would say, "You guys are too... " Fill in the blank... hardcore, controversial, provocative militant, etc. "You're doing more harm than good," is a chorus that constantly drummed in our ears.

Thank God we didn't listen. Thank God we never tried to be more "nice." Thank God we stayed "in your face" and real. Countless thousands of lives were saved because we insisted on being confrontational, real, and truthful no matter what.

The world would be a far better place if more people would stop being nice and start being good.