To inject just another element here, I've written before about how reluctant gay men already are to be seen as willing to mentor gay adolescents. The trope of gay man as sexual predator is so common that we often bend over backwards to avoid even the appearance.

I was thinking about that the other day when my Prism & Pen co-editor wrote an article about straight men staging distasteful countdowns to the 18th birthdays of girl pop stars. She was pointing of hypocrisy in the whole grooming idea. It struck me that you never see that kind of thing among gay men. You never see us talk about how we wish some 17 year old hottie would hurry up and turn 18. We wouldn't dare. I'm not saying we should, of course, but I am trying to point out the double standard.

The standard has very negative consequence. I recently appeared on the outCast queer youth podcast, where the moderator is a Black gay man. He confided that he had to think long and hard before he agreed to become involved with the project. He was afraid of the damage to his reputation if he became thought of as a gay man who worked with queer youth. He was wary of the real damage that could do to his reputation.

And that was before the whole Don't Say Gay pedophile groomer push. Queer youth have a really tough time finding finding support and mentoring. This new wave is making things worse.