To add a bit to the complexity, or perhaps to illustrate it, let’s look at that set of cis/gay men who are very “effeminate.”

Even though these men were presumably socialized male, they reject the norms and often behave in ways that are more stereotypically associated with women.

They speak with soft voices, value empathy and caring over rowdiness and forcefulness, and generally conduct themselves in ways society believe are appropriate for women and not for men.

Yet they are men, men who reject their socialization.

Now, let’s really mix it up. Let’s think about the cis men we’ve met and presumed to be effeminate gay men. Only it turns out they’re straight.

Complex, indeed!

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store