This is so insightful.

I’m a gay man who when I was younger struggled quite a bit with gender presentation issues. In other words I got bullied for being a sissy boy.

Some of my mannerisms and speech habits were received as effeminate. I didn’t like it, and I struggled against it for many years. Later in life, I said f*** it and just let myself talk and act any way I wanted to.

These days, if I listen to my recorded voice when I’m speaking naturally and not paying attention to myself, I recognize something of a feminine lilt.

Just me. That’s who I am, and I’m cool with it.

But you know what? I am a cisgender gay man who has never once questioned my gender identity, not for one single second. Questioning my gender simply never occurred to me; that’s how rock solid and unshakable my identity is, despite the fact that some people perceive me as feminine.

So I really get what you’re saying that if somebody does reach the stage of questioning, it’s unusual enough to ask if maybe something is going on.

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Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.

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