This is a really important point, Marco. We gay men can rarely just run into someone attractive and flirt with them. That can be dangerous as well as unproductive. But can I point out there are exceptions to that? Gay guys who live in gayborhoods like New York City’s Chelsea or LA’s West Hollywood actually find themselves in a majority of men out on the street. Flirting is much more possible. That’s actually how I met my late partner. He flirted with me in public, but because we were in Greenwich Village that was ordinary.

Obviously, people can’t just up and move, so I’m not presenting what I’m saying as a solution to dating difficulties. Just an observation.

But if you’ll take a tip from a much older gay man, there are solutions that don’t involve gay bars or Grindr. One thing gay men do to meet other guys is join clubs and associations. Like, if you enjoy singing, most cities have a gay men’s chorus. If you’re religious, mostly gay congregations are not difficult to find. If that doesn’t appeal to you, there’s probably an LGBT center near you with a bulletin board or virtual bulletin board full of socializing activities from camping, to sports, to arts and entertainment. If you enjoy acting, the local community theater is sure to be a hotspot of gay men. (I know I’m stereotyping, but it’s still true. 🤣)

And one good thing to remember … while casual sex is often seen as positive and desirable in our communities, plenty of guys into casual sex are also into love and relationships. The two are not mutually exclusive. Just something to keep in mind.

Sorry if I sound like I’m lecturing, but sometimes I go into auntie mode. Forgive me. :-)