This has been such a difficult problem for me all my life. From family and friends, to colleagues, it's astonishing how religious people feel free to morally condemn gay people like me and other queer people.

Just expressing their opinion, they'll say. They're entitled to it, they'll explain, as they imply or directly state that they are morally superior to me, and that their "god" will punish me in an afterlife.


I mean, you know, forget that their beliefs are entirely based on superstition and have no objective foundation or reason to believe. They just accept something that somebody told them in church or in a book. It's hard to fight against ignorance when it's based on nothing, when it's just ignorance that people choose because they like it.

I know things are better today than when I was growing up in the 1970s starting my professional life in the 1980s. I think the big difference is the people are a little more wary of talking about things like that now.

But that hesitance mostly applies to strangers.

Inside families, as you illustrate here,, communication is often more frank and more toxic for queer people.

It can eat it you, which you evidently know very clearly, having been motivated to write this painful story.

I really hope your mother wasn't reacting to the evident queerness of at least one of her grandchildren. I mean, why else would she flee the coop on Christmas Eve? She'd have to have pretty darn strong feelings to do something like that.

And some of your other writing, you've made it clear that you're a damn tough mama bear. I know protecting your kids is one of your top priorities.

And that makes things tough with family dynamics too, doesn't it?

You sure got your hands full, but it sounds like you're doing a great job. Including by buying that ornament and showing your kids that anti-queer sentiment doesn't defeat you!