This conflation tends to trivialize suffering, which is my major beef with it. Political ideology, like identifying as a conservative Republican or a liberal Democrat, may carry costs in certain parts of society, but keeping that identity quiet really does not. Some people who hold certain political ideas may feel less than free to be loud about them, depending on where they live, but that’s a trivial problem compared to challenges facing members of gender and sexual minorities.

When I was young and coming out as gay was something like a revolutionary act, I felt I had little choice, because the alternative was a life devoid of love, sexual intimacy, and fulfilling companionship. In other words, failing to be at least somewhat openly gay would have meant sacrificing basic human needs pretty high up on the hierarchy of needs.

Also as a young man, I joined the military. Most of my fellow officers were Republicans. I identified as a liberal Democrat, and I didn’t talk about that much because it wasn’t a very popular thing to be in that circle of people.

Know how much that affected my life? Almost not at all. I did not suffer because I felt less than entirely free to share my political ideology with other people. That was a trivial problem compared to having to be in the closet about my sexual orientation.

The vast difference between the two experiences doesn’t seem hard for me to understand, but apparently it is for some. For people who tout the equivalence, I don’t think they’ve thought very hard about what it’s actually like to be transgender or gay.