There was a time in my life when I would have disagreed with your basic premise. The years after I left Canada where my partner and I raised a foster child felt almost idyllic. I was living in Detroit, not a queer mecca, but it was almost as safe and accepting as Montreal where I had been living before.

Homophobia and opposition to trans people felt socially unacceptable, at least in the main. I mean, strong social conservatives and religious people did say nasty things from time to time, but they had a hard time finding big platforms for their views, and you certainly didn't hear their voices in major publications. You didn't see them succeeding in influencing big cultural institutions.

Then Trump won the 2016 election, and within two or three years the entire national mood seemed to change. Hatred that used to be largely taboo became a matter of "liberty" and "religious freedom" so long as even a translucent fig leaf covered the hate.

National publications and media gradually (but not too gradually) filled with "just asking questions" condemnation of queer people that would not previously have made it passed editorial boards. Ordinary people took that as permission to be even more vituperative in daily life.

Then Trump lost, and instead of hatred dying down or going back to a barely underground seething, it exploded and started fires everywhere.

Hating on LGBTQ people is no longer vaguely taboo and rare like it was becoming before 2016. It's mainstream again, and growing worse in my opinion. Obviously it's only worse in certain segments of society, and not a majority. But when large minorities of people feel perfectly free to dish out really strong hatred, fear is inevitable and probably necessary for self preservation.

We all have a lot of work to do. And we need allies more than ever to insist on an end to the hatred.

It would be nice to stop living in fear.