Thanks, Evelyn Jane Saungikar. I think you’re right. I’m not a short story writer by habit. I tend to instinctively think in terms of framing a novel. If this piece were longer, I would have taken more time to develop some of the issues. As it was, I felt pinched toward the end to tie up loose ends I’d left hanging.
I’ll think about how to streamline it better, keeping the short story format.