Thanks, Darren Stehle. I wanted to anchor the experience in the senses, to make it as much about feeling as thinking.

I never write in second person. This piece is very unusual for me in that respect. Also unusual is that it poured into my head one day as I was out riding my bike on the Riverwalk in Detroit.

I had to go rush home so I could write it down before I forgot it.

I wrote it longhand, then put it aside and forgot about it for a while. Months later, I went back and deliberately added in specific images that reinforced the symbolism I wanted to emphasize.

Over a period of weeks, I worked on the rhythm, reading it aloud until I’d find better words or better ways to arrange sentences.

I finally considered it finished about six months after I wrote it.

The images are anchored in a very New York City experience. I was thinking about a small apartment in an elegant brownstone on the west side near Central Park.

It’s not necessary to know that to appreciate the imagery, I don’t think, but making the setting concrete helped me ground the story in reality even as I brought in details from other experiences in other places.


Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot.

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