James Finn
1 min readDec 8, 2020

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Switching to they/them as default pronouns is pretty equivalent, I guess, to canceling gendered pronouns.

It’s not such a huge step in English. We already naturally use they/them in everyday speech when referring to an unspecified or unknown person:

“I saw this person at the store the other day. They were walking down the dairy aisle.”

Grammarians don’t like that, but it’s native English that people feel as perfectly natural.

What rubs our fur the wrong way is using they/them for a named person whose gender we know. That feels unnatural.

But there’s not a huge step between the two. It doesn’t take a lot of practice to jump from the one to the other and internalize they/them as ordinary.

If we want to cancel gendered pronouns, and I quite agree with you that we should, then switching to the default they/them as much as possible is probably a great way to get it started.

Thank goodness we don’t have gender built in like the Romance languages. They face a much steeper hill.

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James Finn

James Finn is an LGBTQ columnist, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Act Up NY, and an agented but unpublished novelist.