So often people seem confused by the difference between attraction and behavior. As you point out, you’re bisexual because you find different genders attractive, not because of who you might be dating at any given moment.

People seem to have a lot of problems figuring that out in BOTH directions. I published an advice column the other day talking about a college-age lesbian who was sleeping with a guy because her parents were pressuring her not to be gay.

Several people responded to my column asking me why I think something is wrong with bisexuality.

The answer of course is that I don’t. Her sleeping with a man she’s not attracted to doesn’t make her bisexual, it makes her a lesbian having sex with a man.

Just as a bisexual woman might spend her entire life in relationships with only one gender and still identify as bisexual.

In fact, a good friend of mine fits that bill. She married the boy she fell in love with in highschool and has never had another relationship. Her children are now grown, and she and her husband are still in love with one another and monogamous.

And she’s still bisexual.

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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