So much of what you write sounds like the trials my foster son went through with his voice changing, but of course so much of it is very different.
He is a cis man, so of course his story is not the same, but some of it is similar because he experienced delayed puberty.
He was almost your age by the time his voice started changing from a prepubescent soprano to a resonant bass. While 12 and 13-year-olds seem to go through the process without thinking about it much, he paid attention and worried every day. Especially about the cracking.
He also worried about becoming a different person. He’d inhabited his body for most of his teen years without significant levels of testosterone, and was very used to living in it like that.
One thing he eventually came to understand is that the voice changes he experienced as very fraught and destabilizing were much more noticeable to him than to other people.
Another thing he noticed is that when he thought the process was over, it wasn’t. He settled into a reedy adolescent tenor for several months, perhaps almost a year, and figured that he had arrived at his destination.
Then his voice started to change again, for a second time, and it descended into a bass register very slowly and gradually.
I don’t know if any of this is useful at all, but I thought I’d share.