So I have a friend who identifies as a cis gay man. His partner of about 18 months, who my friend moved in with a few months ago, identified as a cis gay man when they met and got together. Today, the partner identifies as transgender non-binary, and they're not entirely sure they might not eventually identify as a trans woman.

But nothing about their lives (meaning both members of the queer couple) has significantly changed, other than the fact that they recently became engaged to be married.

However they define their genders and their sexualities to themselves, they are queer people living and working in a very queer neighborhood in quite a queer city. They work with queer people, they socialize with queer people, and they frequent queer clubs and businesses.

Their queerness bonds them with their community, and neither of them has ever expressed that they feel pressure to be anyone other than themselves.

The idea that they have (or should have) little or nothing in common with one another because one of them identifies as transgender and the other does not is ... frankly quite silly.

I agree with you that only someone viewing the world through a presumptive lens of transphobia could even approach that conclusion.

Anyone knowing my friends would find the whole idea fairly ridiculous.