Since my own experience with gay relationships don't track yours, and since I don't recognize the strict duality you're talking about, I'm not so sure I can talk to you about how anything has changed. Because from my perspective, little has changed ... but little I experienced in life resembles what you're writing about.

I'm also a romantic, who has often been in love with being in love. I've had two long-term partnerships in my life, the first ending in my partner's death.

We lived in New York City, we went out to club sometimes, but mostly we went to work and engaged in our other interests. Neither of us was interested in strict monogamy, but while we did sometimes have sex with other people, we were mostly too busy with other things.

He was too busy with his career as an accountant with a major publishing house, and my hours were mostly taken up working to care for people with HIV and AIDS.

In my second partnership, my time was mostly taken up caring for our foster son, who came into our home after a severely abusive childhood.

But our relationship was also not strictly monogamous, and sometimes we each had sex with other people.

I don't think many of our friends were so different from us.

I wouldn't call any of us degenerate, that homophobic slur you so casually slung in your opening.

As to spiritual pursuits, I'm an atheist and don't even recognize that spirituality exists. I think spirituality is just another word for superstition.

But I don't care much as long as religious people leave me alone. I do get curious, though. I would wonder why a gay man would associate with the Eastern Orthodox Church, for example. That's one of the most disgustingly homophobic institutions in the world. Eastern Orthodox priests are vicious, cruel, evil toward gay people — something I've learned from a great deal of personal experience.

The doctrines of the Eastern Orthodox Church with respect to us queer people are just horrifying. I would call them (Eastern Orthodox clergy) degenerate, actually, to mirror your homophobic language.

But still, that's what you decided to do, and it wouldn't stop me from associating with you or communicating, or from publishing your story.

But it doesn't dispose me to feelings of good will toward you.

Obviously, you have some kind of hang-ups with recreational drugs and sex. And those hang ups have intertwined with homophobia in your mind.

I very much hope you can work on your judgmentalism and homophobia, and get onto path to becoming a much better person.