Sadly, I know all too well (from personal experience) what’s in the hearts of white people who use the n word.
We know to a person how terrible and unacceptable it is. If you hear one of us utter it other than in an educational setting or something, you can be certain you are in the presence of a vicious, unapologetic racist.
There’s no way around that.
He didn’t utter that word because he was confused about his impact or didn’t understand how toxic it is. He uttered it because he is a disgusting, evil human being.