Reminds me of a time when I was 18 or 19 briefly hooking up with a guy who knew as little about male/male sex as I did, which is to say nothing.

He wanted to top, and I was like, “OK, I guess.”

At least we knew we needed lube, I’ll give us that much. Other than that, we knew nothing, and the experience was an absolute disaster, at least for me.

The pain was unrelenting fire. “Get the fuck off me!”

I didn’t let another guy near me that way for many years. Finally, under the tutelage of a patient, experienced lover, I got it figured out and realized I could enjoy bottoming, that I could sometimes really really enjoy it.

I know young people today have it better with the Internet and everything, but sometimes I wonder. Going by gay porn, anal sex is the epitome of gay sex, and guys love bottoming from the very first instant. No pain, no clumsiness, no need to get prepared first. Just wham bam, stab ya man. Which obviously is a recipe for trauma, for many guys anyway.

If I had access to gay porn when I was 18, and if I had emulated the actors, I probably would have ended up just as frightened of anal sex as I did without porn.

Reminds me that not only do many of us experience delayed adolescence in important ways, sex education is abysmal, and addressing the problem is serious third-rail electrocution stuff.