Rejection is rough. And if you’re a Black gay guy you get accustomed to it a lot from white gay guys. You come to disproportionately expect either out-of-hand rejection or fetishization.

(I observe this after having lived for many years in Detroit where most of my gay friends were Black and shared their experiences with me.)

So while I’m sure the experience you had stings, it’s probably compassionate to understand what might have motivated that guy.

The question is, what can we do in our communities to start healing some of the hurt?

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