Really, you know, this shouldn’t be complicated. Coming out is hard. We all have to decide how and when to come out, and how to live out. The consequences are fraught and unpredictable on many levels.

You demonstrate that clearly right now, by judging this woman’s motives, timing, whatever.

Her coming out is literally none of your business if you aren’t going to be supportive. We have a saying for your behavior in some LGBTQ communities. We call it, “eating our own.”

By the way, speaking of judgementalism, your article immediately turned me off when you wrote that you don’t want to know people who haven’t watched the television series “Pose.”

I have never seen it, though I love the fact that it airs and that it’s popular.

I hung out with friends in NYC for most of the 1990s who were deeply immersed in ballroom culture. I have friends who still are.

I don’t need to watch a TV show to love and appreciate my friends. I almost never watch TV or films of any kind. That’s part of who I am.

If all that makes me somebody you don’t want to know, well… I don’t know what to say.

I will say this. Stop judging queer people for how they come out. Not your job. Not your right. Not your privilege.

Written by

Writer. Runner. Marine. Airman. Former LGBTQ and HIV activist. Former ActUpNY and Queer Nation. Polyglot. Middle-aged, uppity faggot. jamesfinnwrites@gmail.com

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