Reading this has made me think very much about my old friends Harriet and Mary who lived in the building across the street from mine when I was in New York City.

Mary was a stereotypical butch who drove a cab. Harriet had an office job and dressed quite stylishly. I don't know exactly how old they were, but they were much older than me and older than my older partner Lenny. My guess is they both turned 60 around the turn of the millennium.

They told a similar story of meeting, in a lesbian bar, one of the few that operated in Manhattan. Already in the late '90s, they were sad that the era of the lesbian bar seemed to be passing.

In those days there was a little bit of controversy going on about a couple lesbian bars that would not allow men to enter. Mary was okay with that, Harriet didn't like it.

Interestingly, while they dressed and presented stereotypically when they were out and about, they looked very similar in their casual dress at home, and they claimed that their butch and femme roles were just that, roles that they played, mostly for other people.

They met in their late twenties, from what I remember, and shared their lives for decades. They bought a co-op together and walked three little yorkies up and down 8th avenue every day. That's how Lenny and I met them.

We often had ice cream or coffee together at a little corner shop between our buildings.

I wish now but I had spent a lot more time asking them questions about queer life in New York City in the 1960s.