One way I like to combat this is with the use of language. What does it mean when we say that we ARE a top or that we ARE a bottom?
Doesn’t that sort of reduce us to a sexual function? Instead, I’ll talk about whether or not I enjoy bottoming or topping or if I enjoy switch-hitting, but I won’t label myself — as if a label could define me as a person.
You definitely hit the nail on the head with toxic masculinity. I would just add that sexually reductive thinking plays into the mix as well.
If we can stop defining ourselves as sexual objects, we might be halfway to finding the road out of the problem.