One interesting word I've seen a bit lately in erotic/romance writing is "kitty," which from context seems to mean means vulva. (As in, "Please rub my kitty and flick my clitty.)

"Kitty" pretty obviously derives from the P word, but lacks the misogynistic connection, or at least I think so as gay man who recognizes the P word as an anti-gay, misogynistic slur.

I don't write erotica (or have sex with women, lol) but if I did, I would probably find kitty to be a pretty useful word.

It has positive connotations, trips nicely off the tongue, and has the advantage of not being an all-in-one generalization of women's genitalia.