James Finn
1 min readFeb 12, 2023

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My story yesterday was about a cheerleading coach in a nationwide Christian youth-basketball league who discovered a volunteer referee (who is also a mom of six children) was a lesbian. She turned the referee-mom in, and the league told the referee she wasn’t welcome anymore.

That’s not exactly like turning somebody in for having an Only Fans account, of course, because being a lesbian is not inherently or publicly about sex.

However, the impulse to cancel that referee is rooted in the same moralizing BS — the same self righteous hysteria that sees queer people mistreated and drag queens called groomers.

Once upon a time, busy bodies who stuck their noses in people’s lives to enforce a morality code were called "Mrs. Grundy," not a flattering descriptor. Mrs. Grundy can be either a man or a woman, gender doesn’t matter.

What matters is a desire to appear shocked about other people’s private lives and then either gossip or otherwise speak up to bring down the mob.

Mrs. Grundy as an appellation was quite popular in the 1950s through the 1970s. I think it’s time to bring the term back or find a different one more fitting for today.

Because the world sure would run better with fewer Mrs. Grundies in it.

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James Finn
James Finn

Written by James Finn

James Finn is an LGBTQ columnist, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Act Up NY, and an agented but unpublished novelist.

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