My now elderly English pointer Sam was quite the dedicated escape artist in his youth, so I know exactly what you mean about anxiety.

I think it's been 2 years since his last successful escape attempt, and a small part of me wishes he'd try again. But he's well past it, having already outlived most dogs of his breed.

He seems happy, but he mostly sleeps and licks himself these days. I know I'll be devastated when the day comes, and it might not be so very far away, when he has a stroke or something else that will mean it's time to make a difficult decision.

I won't be as devastated as I was when I lost my husband, which I'm sure you understand, but it will still be a real blow.

That blow, of course, will mean that Sam and I shared a deep emotional bond, which is absolutely true. He rarely leaves my side, and I spend an hour or two every night petting and massaging him as I read before bed.

I would not have it any other way, and I think, neither would he.