My late partner has been gone for about 25 years, and I still experience regret over some of the same issues you express in this article.

We had a very close relationship, but for the last period of his terminal illness, I lost any desire to be sexual with him. It wasn't just what the illness did to his body, which was significant. I think it more had to do with the home nursing that I did sometimes, that caused me to associate his body with the unpleasant sights and smells of illness, that caused me to confront his mortality in ways that I wasn't able to cope with.

This is a topic I rarely or ever read about. Maybe it's because people don't like writing about it? Maybe because our society is so sex averse that we don't consider it a "decent" topic?

It's an important topic, though, isn't it?

When one partner in a loving couple becomes seriously or terminally ill, what happens to the sexual relationship in the time they have left?

I don't suppose there are any pat answers or even generally applicable ones.

But as a person whose partner passed when I was in my 30s, I would very much have liked to read about or hear about other couples in similar situations. I think it would have helped, especially in circumstances where my regret came to feel more like guilt.

So thanks very much for sharing this sensitive story!