…hy privilege the nuclear family unit as the most important (and thus the first) people to find out? Fledgling gays should come out to sympathetic high school friends (the other queer people around them, perhaps the women, etc.) and build a base of support. When the group feels ready, they should accompany our protagonist to his/her parents, at which point, the social pressure is on the parents to accept their child, and not the other way around.
Lucas, in my 50s, myself, I know a lot of queer youth and do quite lot of informal counseling and advising. I think you’re absolutely right about the need to come out to peer groups first. In many cases I actually see the scenario you describe take place. Oh, the peer group may not be there physically with the child and the parents, but they’re there in spirit, and that helps a lot. When a teen or young adult has thr solid support and love of close friends, coming out to family is much less traumatic. Sadly I some cases, there are still many environments where coming out to peer groups isn’t practical. It all varies widely by geography and by school type.