I've seen these kind of attitude cycle a couple of times within my own lifetime. Back when I was a twink and my good friend Howie rocked leather and denim and hung out at the Eagle (and a few less reputable places, lol) he and his ursine pals were something of a fringe. They were such a small minority among gay men that few guys really gave them much thought.

Only when the bear movement gained speed and numbers did other gay men think much about the subject. Or at least that's how it seems.

And then there was some judgment. I think a lot of it was just based on taste. As in, "I can't imagine being attracted to a guy with a hairy belly and a beard. Eeew, Mary!"

But what you're writing about is more insidious than taste, isn't it? I've seen what you're writing about. I've seen queer people negatively judging very masculine-presenting gay men, or perhaps judging the concept of such men existing.

It goes something like, ... feminine energy is better than masculine energy, so queer people should always strive to emphasize the feminine.

Often, I think, the people saying these things aren't intending to judge a specific person, and I believe that they often think they aren't judging at all. They're just talking about their personal philosophy of queerness.

But they should stop to think about how guys feel when their own appearance and attractions don't fit into those personal philosophies.

Howie was one of the sweetest, kindest people I ever knew. I worked with him every summer for a few years as he organized a Circle Line boat cruise fundraiser for God's Love We Deliver. His enormous reserves of energy and personal magnetism almost single-handedly made it happen every year. (Not to take away from the dozens of us who helped him!)

Howie was a bear before bears were mainstream. I think he's a good example of why we need to be careful about judgment.