I've never understood this position, and I actually disagree quite strongly. I mentioned in another comment that I sometimes call myself an "uppity faggot" for purposes of political commentary.

This is based on my life experience, of having been the subject of taunts for being a faggot, and having witnessed other people being the subject of such taunts.

Obviously, when the taunts were directed against me or against other people in my presence, I took great offense. I experienced pain of rejection. I would submit that I had absolutely no choice in how I experienced that. Eleanor Roosevelt was simply wrong, in my opinion, and so is any other philosopher who forwards the idea that taking offense in such circumstances is a choice. Such people must be entirely unaware of human psychology and human nature.

I wish people making that kind of claim would educate themselves and stop being so wrong.