I’ve gone through quite an evolution on same-sex marriage, myself. I see myself as sort of on the radical side queer activism, not particularly valuing hetero-normative institutions and patriarchal ways of living. When the big push for same-sex marriage sort of took over the movement for a while, I was surprised and frankly a little bored.
But then my own personal life took me by surprise and I ended up really regretting not having had legal protection. I mean, I’m still not interested in trying to ape mainstream culture, but I’ll feel free to appropriate practical bits of it. ;-)
Btw, I lived in Berlin for five years and adored it. I wish you and your wife the best!