It’s probably complicated and multi-dimensional, and I’m sure internalized homophobia figures in sometimes. Other times, I think a lot of it just is that men are not socialized as much to look at sexual trysts as deeply emotional experiences.

I mean, think about your average high school boy who is all about finding someone to have sex with and then boasting about it. I’m not saying that’s a good thing, I’m just saying that’s how many kids grow up.

Now take those boys and add a few years to them and give them Grindr, and watch them run from sex partner to sex partner.

It’s something we gay men talk about amongst ourselves a lot. I mean sex positivity is good, of course. Nothing wrong with casual hookups, of course.

But balance is often lacking. Lots of gay people grow out of that initial burst of intense sexual activity when they come out.

And lots don’t.